Friday, July 13, 2007

News Roundup: Maybe We Need an 11th Commandment

Well, the republicans have definitely found a loophole when it comes to morality. And it's a lot bigger than asking what the meaning of "is" is. It's a loophole you could drive a cement truck through.

I do not recall ever seeing a group of people identify a concept and adopt it as their own as quickly as the republicans have discovered hypocrisy and encircled it in their warm embrace.

For starters, we have a nice U.S. Senator from Louisiana, David Vitter (R), doing whatever he can to support the hard-working girls in the world's oldest profession, both in Washington DC and in his home state of Louisiana. A hard-working multi-tasker, Senator Vitter, while he was a Congressman, was able to represent his district in the halls of Congress while still having time to chat up DC madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey on the telephone on at least five occasions. Not bad for a man who was elected to replace Bob Livingston, who resigned after an adultery scandal. At the time, Vitter, after heaping praise on Livingtson, went on to say,
"It's obviously a tremendous loss for the state...I think Livingston's stepping down makes a very powerful argument that Clinton should resign as well and move beyond this mess."
So I wonder whether it's as obvious to Vitter that he should also resign, based on his own personal ethics, as outlined so eloquently above in his comments regarding Bill Clinton.

I suppose he'll stay on, since he has released a statement indicating that his wife and his god have forgiven him. That brings up another problem. What kind of egotistical bastard thinks he has his own god? Either way, I have my doubts that morals-impaired Rudolph Guiliani will keep Vitter on as his southern campaign chairman. Rudy once fired his chief of police because he'd been featured on the cover of Time Magazine. "That's my job," Rudy snarled as he showed the newly unemployed police chief the door. You gotta love the guy.

And let's not forget the stumbling McCain campaign. Down in Florida, the McCain campaign co-chair for the state, dedicated anti-gay Florida state representative Bob Allen, offered a male undercover police officer a nice crisp Andrew Jackson in exchange for letting Allen fellate him. Never mind that the idiot propositioned a police officer, Allen's offer was destined for failure. I've seen photographs, and I'm thinking he would have needed to offer something in the middle six figures. Oops ... the middle six figures actually exceeds the McCain campaign's cash on hand. McCain is furious over the speed at which his campaign has burned through it's funds. I'd like to hope the money wasn't all spent in $20 increments. Representative Allen is not quitting though. He says:
"I am not resigning my office because the people elected me and want me to do a good job. I am going to do a good job for them in finishing this term."
So that would explain Bush's decision to serve out his term. These silly bastards think that merely finishing something equals success.

Speaking of the leader of our less-free world, George Bush, acknowledged that some unidentified person in his office leaked the name of a covert CIA agent to the media. Nevertheless, Bush no longer stands by his promise to fire such a person, however. Why should he? It's a lot more fun to wait until someone is convicted and sentenced--that way he can commute their sentence, just like he did with Scooter Libbey.

Republican criminals? Poor, misunderstood good people who have suffered enough.

Everyone else? Well that's what lethal injection is for, stupid. Remember Texas?

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Friday, March 09, 2007

Throw Newt a Bone

Let's see, where is that bone that I can throw in Newt's direction? It must be here somewhere ...

Newt Gingrich has been in New Hampshire a lot lately, but still he had time to zip on down Bible Central and kneel at the feet of James Dobson to confess one more adulterous affair in hopes that the "public cry, grovel, beg forgiveness, and pray" strategy that comes as second nature to most all Republicans would result in the cleansing of his nonexistent soul, or in the absence of that, perhaps at least tacit acceptance of him as a possible presidential candidate.

Nope, no bone there.

Newt is a child support cheat, adulterer, oral sex fan and all around idiot, as this 1998 salon.com article describes.

Nope, no bone there.

Newt never claimed that Bill Clinton should be impeached for his adultery, but rather for the perjury that occurred when the Lewinsky question was sprung on the President while he was being questioned regarding a completely unrelated, decades old event (Whitewater) for which Clinton was never charged.

There it is. Because Newt himself was getting some extra-curricular action at the expense of wife number two (who was the extra-curricular action Newt earlier had at the expense of wife number one), Newt carefully chose to not call the kettle (Clinton) black (Newt). For that Newt, one bone for you.

Chew on that!


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